I didn't understand a word of your entry about t00b. I also notice that you have a new userpic with the mnemonic of nzbankformonument. Is this for my benefit? You don't seem to have used it yet.
For highway61poet - at least I think it was you. The conspiracy theory you posted and then deleted from LJ yesterday - can you send me a copy or explain why it was deleted?
For louderback and many others. The story of the cheese bell.
When two people marry, they are given many generous gifts, some of which are more appreciated than others. One of the less appreciated, but still used, was a cheese bell. A cheese bell is a glass dome with a wooden plate to go under it. the idea is that cover cheese with it and it keeps fresh. Unfortunately, this one was far too big to be useful. Still, it was in the fridge and had some cheese under it.
I had just come in from work and climbed up the stairs to our first floor flat (US: second floor apartment). Viv was cooking something for tea and asked me to go out and get some milk for a sauce. I went out and returned a few minutes with a carton of milk. Viv was about to tell me to be careful as she she had spilled some oil on the floor, but before she had a chance, I found it. As I fell, I put my hand out to save me. Unfortunately, it was still holding the carton of milk and I put my hand on the hotplate of the stove, burning it and charring the milk carton.
Before attending to the burn, I poured most of the milk into a jug in the fridge, but as I closed the fridge door, some milk spilled onto the cheese bell, which I rinsed and then set in the kitchen doorway as I went to run cold water over my hand.
Just then the telephone rang. It was the well meaning old lady from downstairs who had heard the crash and wondered whether everything was OK. She had been known to ask questions inconveniently on other occasions, but that's not for this story.
I went back into the kitchen, complaining loudly that she should mind her own business. I wasn't really watching what I was doing either, so I didn't notice the cheese bell I had put there. As I kicked it, it smashed into many pieces, which I obviously had to pick up and throw away.
The following morning, I went to work with one hand suffering from burns and the other one cut to ribbons. They wanted to know how I had done it. Well, I'm glad you asked...